∞² + 2♔ + ♥

April the 26th, 2012

YOU ONLY DIE ONCE †

April the 13th, 2012

I wonder if he ever thinks of me, when he sees a commercial about Manson coming to my country.

April the 2nd, 2012

best friends means forever, cunt.

April the 1st, 2012

Listening to some random club music and trying to cheer myself up. I’m hurt as fuck. Once again I thought I’ve made such a great friend but I just got stabbed in my back. Ok, I know it sounds too dramatic and it seems that I’m just over-reacting but I can’t change the way I feel. So story goes like this - I have a crush on boy from my school and my friend knows it. On Friday she told me that she has chated with my crush until ~ 3 a.m. On Saturday she told me that she did it again last night. I can’t understand why the hell she told me that. How can she not come up with an idea that it can hurt my feelings? Plus, once again she told me that she’s going to the Cinema with other friend, which is mine, too. Yeah, go ahead I really “don’t” want to go with you guys, don’t even bother asking me… again and again. I feel miserable. I have no one to talk with, who would realy care about me.

March the 16th, 2012

There is nothing. I have nothing. I am nothing.

I’m empty. I’m lonely. I’m cold. I’m hurt. I’m full of sin, sickness, pride, hatred, agony, sadness, rage. I’m torn apart.

There is war inside me and it feels like home.

February the 2nd, 2012

After two months it will already be two years how I have no connection with one of the people that once I thought I could never live without. It’s strange. It really is. So much. I’ve almost forgotten everything but it’s, I guess, third day as I’ve started to blame myself. I was watching the video for song “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele. Suddenly it looked to me as the girl (Adele) in the chair was I and the guy, who looks like ninja dancing in the cocaine, was my old friend with which I haven’t spoken for almost two years. He was drug addict back then. Now I’m blaiming myself that I was just sitting around and doing nothing, while he was doing drugs. I know it’s silly and I really hate that I’m creating such nonsense out of some random video and memories.

Janaury the 3rd, 2012

Listening to ‘Party Like a Millionaire’ by Millionaires and wishing to don’t give a fuck like they do. It sounds pathetic even to me. Why am I so stupid? I wish there was some kind of cure for that or something. Life would be much better.

December the 4th, 2011

It’s Sunday. The third day as I’m studying my ass off. Despite the fact that most of the time  I do my work without any unadvisedly, neglectfully or don’t feel like doing it at all, now I’m feeling like I’m studying for 9 months without any free time, I mean no holidays, even no weekends. How can it be possible? Some strange mindfuck!

November the 29th, 2011

Today I  ate some dumplings with curd and three puffed rice cakes. Why do I eat so much?

November the 27th, 2011

Today, when I woke up, I decided to don’t eat anything. I thought it will help me to be proud of myself because I finally will achieve something I wanted for a long time.
I ate Ceaser salad, some yogurt, ice cream and two persimmons.
I want to lose weight. My weight is killing me. Why is it so hard to get rid of it? Why there are so many girls who can easily get thin in few months and I get nothing even if I try hard. Why I don’t have any will to have a slim body? I hate myself.